Do you feel lonely in social media?
Why can’t we have our needs satisfied and why makes this us frustrated? If generalising woman wants to have a man who is really present for her and most men want a woman who praises and supports him. When this is not met there happens many bad things and we start projecting.
Our basic human needs
Anthony Robbins is a well known coach and I was coached during three years by one of his coaches which changed my life. I had always been very poor at giving mysef the love which I missed and was seeking after someone outside myself. This is one of the most common causes why relations doesn’t work. We are expecting someone else to fill our need of love. But that will never be enough we have to fill ourselves for being able to give.
But for filling ourselves with love we must know our different needs. Anthony Robbins talks about six human needs:
- security – finanical, know the situations, house, material level
- curiosity – excitement, feeling alive, creativity
- love/relationship – have someone beside who listens, me, you and all
- significance – status symbols, roles and responsibilities
- personal development – growth and learning new things, open mind set
- contribution – give, give and give to others without expect anything back
If you look how most people interact in social media they are seldom on the highest level which is what social media is about. We have to contribute and there have to be a balance between all needs. Relations are challenged when we feel left alone in our relations and especially if we stop talking to each other about our feelings. It is the same in social media with our friends and after the grace period the conflicts start if the person is not on the level of contribution.
My own work and learning lessons
I have contact with many females and got to learn that far to many men are not present in social media when interacting with them. It is also common that men are offending women with sexual harassments which I have felt is behind that women are very suspicious about my intentions. Except for coaching business leaders I coach females who are disappointed in their relations or want a change in their lives.
We want to feel proud of ourselves and that we can control situations and people who are grown up in chaos tends to try to keep that chaos around them which makes them to feel that they have control. This is for example what I have done and see many people do in the different facebook groups which are popping up here and there with similar names and new people coming in and out. I am slowly learning to focus more on my own business not involve so many people.
But what can you do if you are not satisfied?
First of all start talking the truth and stop lying to yourself, partners and others even if it feels difficult in the beginning. Hire a coach you trust I have spent a lot of money on my own development for being where I am today. To get self confidence and self esteem is something which needs to be prioritized. Many people spend a lot of money on mateial things and status symbols but don’t care for their inner feelings and life balance.